New Office Floor Plan Policy
NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES:
Since tearing down all of our walls, offices, and dividers in favor of one large, open room with rows of desks, we’ve received anecdotal reports that rather than fostering camaraderie and creative breakthroughs, the new space is “distracting” and “demoralizing.”
Our open floor plan was decided upon after rigorous research that primarily involved looking at what cool internet companies were doing and reflexively copying them. We’re dismayed and confused as to why their model isn’t succeeding for our own business, and have concluded that we just haven’t embraced the open floor plan ideals as fully as we possibly can.
So team, let’s take this open floor plan to the next level! In the spirit of transparency and collaboration, we’re implementing the following policies:
Two Cow Capitalism
Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Quotes on Democracy
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. - Winston Churchill
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people. - Oscar Wilde
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. - George Bernard Shaw
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. - H. L. Mencken
Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women
10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
9.You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.
Direct line to God
A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.