Three men die on the same day and St. Peter asks them what they want said at their wakes.

New Regulations in the Ministry of Transportation of Ontario

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Ontario driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distanc e between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

A newfie was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a newly discovered diet.

"I want you to eat regular meals for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 more weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

“People always fear change.  People feared electricity when it was invented, didn’t they?  People feared coal, they feared gas-powered engines.  There will always be ignorance, and ignorance leads to fear.  But with time, people will come to accept their silicon masters.”

As Bill Gates once warned, computers have indeed become our silicon masters, pervading nearly every aspect of our modern lives.  As a result, some of the greatest minds of our time have pondered the significance of computers and software on the human condition.  Following are 101 great quotes about computers, with an emphasis on programming, since after all this is a software development site.