Telemarketer Revenge
One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this:
Monkey Business
In a cage there are five apes. In the cage hangs a banana on a string over some stairs.
Before long, one ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana, but as soon as he touches the stairs, all the apes are sprayed with ice cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result all the apes are sprayed with cold water. After awhile, if an ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will try to prevent it.
But I was only following the speed limit
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
The Best Programmer
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God the Father as the judge.