Oxford Dictionary has updated the definition of the following words. Please update your dictionary.
| Divorce | Future tense of marriage. |
| Cigarette | A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other. |
| Conference | The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. |
| Compromise | The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. |
| Tears | The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power... |
| Dictionary | A place where success comes before work. |
| Conference Room | A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. |
| Classic | A book which people praise, but do not read. |
| Smile | A curve that can set a lot of things straight. |
| Office | A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. |
| Yawn | The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. |
| Etc. | A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. |
| Committee | Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. |
| Experience | The name men give to their mistakes. |
| Atom Bomb | An invention to end all inventions. |
| Philosopher | A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. |
| Diplomat | A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. |
| Opportunist | A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. |
| Miser | A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. |
| Father | A banker provided by nature. |
| Criminal | A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. |
| Boss | Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. |
| Politician | One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. |
| Doctor | A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. |