Signs of the new millenium

  1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
  2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
  3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
  4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
  5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
  6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
  7. You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
  8. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
  9. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.
  10. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
  11. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
  12. You have your resume on a diskette.
  13. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
  14. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
  15. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
  16. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
  17. It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer.
  18. You know exactly how many days you've got left until you retire.
  19. You see a good looking, smart person and you know it must be a visitor.
  20. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
  21. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
  22. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short of, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
  23. Vacation time is something you roll over to next year.
  24. Every week another brown collection envelope comes around because someone you DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WORKED THERE is leaving.
  25. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
  26. The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are on your desktop.
  27. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
  28. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends you send jokes to" e-mail group.