Murray Walker-isms
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For all the Forumla 1 race fans out there.
"He's obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can't see it"
Men Can't Win!
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If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
Lost In The Translation
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1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read, "Are you lactating?"
Letter of Recommendation
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Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often, Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
coffee breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob
be promoted to executive management, and a proposal will
be executed as soon as possible.
Regards - Project Leader
It's A Lie!
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A man is late getting home after having a fling with his secretary. When the man gets home he notices that his clothes are wrinkled and he has lipstick all over his face. At that precise moment, his wife surprises him.
"Where have you been?" she asks.