It's all in what you know
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There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
Making Copies
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A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand.
Idiots
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IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it -- they matched!
Too many exhaust fumes?
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Leo and Sam exited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Leo asked, "Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it."
"No, that won't work" answered Sam. "People will think we're trying to break in."