Pun Intended
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Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion per passenger."
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!".
You know you've been drinking when...
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Paddy, the famous newfie is driving home after downing a few at the local pub.
A Cab Driver and a Nun
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A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you"
The Godfather
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An old Italian Mafia Don is dying, and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson, I wanna you lissin to me. I wanna for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."