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NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES:

Since tearing down all of our walls, offices, and dividers in favor of one large, open room with rows of desks, we’ve received anecdotal reports that rather than fostering camaraderie and creative breakthroughs, the new space is “distracting” and “demoralizing.”

Our open floor plan was decided upon after rigorous research that primarily involved looking at what cool internet companies were doing and reflexively copying them. We’re dismayed and confused as to why their model isn’t succeeding for our own business, and have concluded that we just haven’t embraced the open floor plan ideals as fully as we possibly can.

So team, let’s take this open floor plan to the next level! In the spirit of transparency and collaboration, we’re implementing the following policies:

Thanks for your cooperation! Any complaints can be submitted to the provided box in the kitchen to be used in our weekly Negate the Negativity Bonfire.