This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something.

The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

  • Indubitably
  • Innovative
  • Preliminary
  • Proliferation
  • Cinnamon

  1. Most Blues begin with: "Woke up this morning...."
  2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

St. Andrews University released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (oops contain phytoeostrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.